Regrets about "keeping" my previous cat shaped who I am today—What are the critical differences between "keeping" and "living together" that life with a cat taught me?

The expression "to own a cat" is common, but it doesn't quite sit right with me personally. That's why, when I write articles as a cat writer, I change it to phrases like "to live with a cat," "to share life with a cat," or "to welcome a cat into your home," to convey the story of people and cats.

I'm sure there are many people who, like me, feel uncomfortable with the expression "to own." Why do we cat lovers feel such aversion and resistance to "owning" a cat? After much thought, I came to the conclusion that it's because we strongly feel we are "living together with" them, rather than "owning" them.

This time, I'd like to briefly discuss the difference between what I consider "owning" and "living together with."

The Weight of "Living Together" Learned from Cats of an Era When Free-Roaming Was Common

When I was a child, it was common for cats to roam freely. Fortunately, I lived in the countryside, so my beloved cats never died by being hit by a car, but back then, cats felt somewhat distant to me.

Our previous cats roamed freely, but they would all return home for food by evening. My parents would feed them dinner, put them in the shed for the night, and let them out again the next morning.

I would only pet the cats freely and casually when I had time. Since we weren't together all the time like indoor cats, I didn't truly understand my beloved cats, and I didn't have the feeling of "living together" with them.

As a child, I naturally accepted the free-roaming lifestyle that was prevalent then, but looking back now, I realize that was probably "owning."

Although the environment met their basic needs like food and elimination, I have no confidence that I fulfilled my cats' emotional needs.

Perhaps they wanted more affection, or perhaps the heat and cold outside were sometimes difficult for them. I believe "living together" only truly comes into being when we pay attention to such subtle details.

In fact, it was only after I personally welcomed a cat into my home and began living a completely indoor cat life that I truly understood the depth of these creatures called cats and was surprised. I knew they were cute, but spending every moment with them brings so many new discoveries and insights every day.

At the same time, a sense of apology grew within me for the previous cats, for whom I could only "own." I felt like I had forced them into a life that couldn't be excused by saying, "It was a different era."

I learned from my previous cats that cohabitation with cats truly begins when we don't just settle for "keeping them alive," but also consider their emotional well-being.

"Living together" is comfortable because there's no hierarchy.

The reason I feel resistance to the word "to own" is that it seems to imply a hierarchy. Even though it's just two characters, "to own" feels like there's a quiet pressure that the owner is superior.

But the relationship with my beloved cat isn't like that. I believe my cat is a being who, depending on the time and situation, can take on various roles such as a mother, sibling, friend, or lover.

For example, during snack time, they might act like a doting younger sibling, but then afterwards, they might act cool and aloof like a boyfriend. That's common.

So, while we humans might sometimes feel like revering our cats as "Oh, mighty felines!", cats generally don't seem to care much about who's superior or inferior; they seem to live life as they please.

Their carefree nature makes them strangely human-like, which fosters a sense of familiarity, and the ease of an equal relationship brings comfort to my heart. For such a daily life, I believe "to live together" is a better fit than "to own."

Coexistence might be a form that can only be reached by truly caring for the species and thinking beyond just "owning." Living with cats, I feel this way and deeply believe that they are not "pets" but "family."

The big difference between "owning" and "living together" is how we approach life.

I believe the biggest difference between "owning" and "living together" lies in how we approach life. When I "owned" cats in the past, people around me seemed to have little awareness of taking animals to the vet.

Many people would turn a blind eye to any abnormalities, saying, "Animals have natural healing powers, so they'll be fine." Even as a child, I questioned the attitude of those adults. I sometimes thought, "They preach the preciousness of life at school and at home, but aren't they the ones categorizing life?"

That's why I was happy when I felt that as the awareness of "living together" spread, a trend of caring for cats' health management became prevalent in society.

Animals certainly have higher natural healing power than humans. However, I believe it is an important task that only humans can do to pick up on their silent cries and connect them to treatment.

Now that the spirit of "living together with our beloved cats" has permeated society, many people are striving to prevent diseases through regular check-ups. Such a shift in awareness can only arise from considering one's cat as a family member and having the determination to "protect the life in front of us."

Therefore, I think it's a precious awareness, and it feels like cats are teaching us that we can love a single life so deeply.

I want them to be healthy and happy, not just alive. It must be because of such strong desires and regrets accumulated by cat lovers that coexisting with cats has advanced so much in modern society. It truly is amazing how cats can captivate humans to this extent.

...Nevertheless, cats and humans are completely different creatures. Now that the distance between us and cats has narrowed, it's important to avoid anthropomorphizing cats excessively, understand their characteristics, and consider ways for both to live comfortably.

As cats live longer, the way humans and cats interact is bound to change a little more in the future. After "living together with cats," what kind of lifestyle will become common? While imagining that, I want to gradually update my life with my beloved cat for the better.

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