I don't want it to end with "pet loss"—The dream my late cat gave me at 36

The death of a beloved animal family member is dismissed with a single phrase: "pet loss."

Why does the pain of pet loss linger so much? When I see something my beloved cat liked in my daily life, my nose stings and my vision blurs, almost like a conditioned reflex.

However, the reality is that this throbbing pain is often dismissed by those around me with the single phrase "pet loss."

While I couldn't find an alternative term for "pet loss," I felt that using a word with a somewhat light connotation like "pet loss" to describe the death of an animal family member wasn't quite right, and my feelings remained in limbo for a long time.

If you lose a human family member, you can seek help from a psychiatrist or psychosomatic internal medicine specialist. However, this is difficult when it comes to animal family members. Those experiencing pet loss tend to downplay their own suffering, thinking, "It's just this, I shouldn't need mental care for it..." And above all, there are no specialists or institutions that can provide professional care for pet loss.

Therefore, it seems that those experiencing pet loss currently have no choice but to try to soothe their own wounds, confide in family or close friends, and somehow struggle to accept the pain of losing their beloved animal.

I must have thought, "I'm sick of this!" when facing that reality. In late January this year, it suddenly occurred to me: If there are no specialists, why don't I become one...?

It's the same mindset as when I decided to become a writer: "If it doesn't exist, create it."

...So, to study psychology, I decided to enroll in an online university this year! It's a challenge for a 36-year-old woman approaching her forties.

Enrolled in an online university to provide care for those experiencing pet loss!

Actually, I've always had a high passion for psychology. I wanted to study criminal psychology, so after graduating from high school, I went on to a four-year university specializing in psychology.

However, because the family I grew up in was not a safe place, my foundation was unstable at the time, and I couldn't endure the camp-like experience of confronting my own mind. I dropped out of university six months after enrolling.

Even after dropping out, the desire to "study psychology" remained in my heart, but I was afraid to confront my own mind again. So I made various excuses, like "I'm too old" or "It's financially difficult," and turned away from my desire to study the mind.

However, as a writer, I often encountered situations that touched my heart during interviews. After interviews where I connected with the interviewee's feelings, I would always feel both regret, "I wish I had studied psychology," and a passive thought, "It's too late to start studying now."

But as I continued to face the death of my beloved cat, I thought, "Why shouldn't there be at least one psychologist specializing in pet loss?" I think there was also a sense of resolve born from the sheer, prolonged pain of those days.

If I were to pursue a private counselor certification, it would be cost-effective in terms of both time and money. However, having personally been helped by counseling, I couldn't choose that option. It felt disrespectful to my heart to consider cost-effectiveness when dealing with my emotions.

I want to become a certified psychologist and, by collaborating with various animal hospitals, provide emotional support to people who live with animal family members.

Now, ten months after my beloved cat's death, that has become my dream. This dream was born because my beloved cat taught me, firsthand, the preciousness of an animal's life and the pain of separation.

Honestly, the hurdles to becoming a certified psychologist are quite high, so if I give up halfway and say, "It was impossible...", please laugh at me and say, "She was talking so big!"

For now, without being too greedy, I'm aiming to graduate from university and obtain the Certified Psychologist qualification.

It was undoubtedly my deceased beloved cat who pushed me towards the path of studying the mind, a path I had so long avoided. I hope the "thank you" I whispered while holding her urn before applying reached her in heaven.

I want to create a society where bereaved animal family members can also receive grief care as a matter of course.

As a writer conducting interviews, I deeply feel that the experience of parting with an animal family member truly varies from person to person.

Some people have made the choice of euthanasia, suppressing their desire for their beloved family member to live in order to ease their suffering, while others have experienced sudden death and blame themselves.

Even with a period of illness, which is in a sense a "period of preparation for separation," as I had, it doesn't mean you can completely come to terms with your feelings.

Because the experience of parting with an animal family member is so unique to each person, even when expressing feelings on social media, it's difficult to share with others unless they are in the exact same situation. In some cases, differing values can lead to insensitive remarks, further wounding the heart.

That's why I believe that people experiencing pet loss need a safe place or person where they can freely express the choices they made, and the guilt and regret they carry.

In cases of pet loss, there is a need for specialists with both knowledge of animals and expertise in mental care, making it difficult to find such professionals. However, just like people who have lost human family members, I want to see a society where those who have lost animal family members can also receive mental care as a matter of course, and not have to bear their suffering alone.

The human heart is more stubborn and delicate than one might think, so I believe there's a need for someone with whom one can express their true feelings.

With the advent of kidney disease medication for cats, extended lifespans for our feline companions are no longer a pipe dream. Now more than ever, it's important to consider "what comes after separation." As someone who has experienced pet loss, I sincerely hope that society will evolve to include grief care for those who have lost animal family members.

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