What to do on the first anniversary of a cat's death? A record of an owner who cherished their beloved cat with bone ashes rings and letters

May 16th this year was a special day for me. It was the first anniversary of my beloved cat Jiji's passing. How should I honor Jiji...? After much thought, I arrived at a way to commemorate the first anniversary that felt true to us, without being overly elaborate.

Maintenance of my beloved cat's remains ring

After my beloved cat Jiji passed away, what supported me emotionally was the ring containing her remains, custom-made at a jewelry shop.

The hardest part after losing a beloved pet is the fact that you can no longer build new memories together. Facing that reality was painful, and I had the ring made with the desire to "always keep her close." Wearing it in my daily life, it supported me emotionally in more situations than I expected.

This ring, which has been with me on outings and seen various landscapes, is Jiji herself to me. So, I decided to care for it on the milestone of her first anniversary, with gratitude for "thank you for being by my side for a year."

Related Articles

Ordering a custom "ashes ring" for my beloved cat... I'll share the cost, details, and my feelings after completion.

Even if you can't see them, your beloved cat is always by your side... After pet loss, we sometimes tell ourselves this to protect our hearts. One way to ease the pain during such a time is to create memorial goods. This time, I will...

The custom jewelry shop offers free after-care. The staff carefully checked the condition of the stone and advised me on the necessary care.

Since I wore the remains ring constantly, it was quite tarnished. However, the staff gave me warm words, saying things like, "It's in beautiful condition" and "We can tell you've been using it constantly."

Receiving such words makes me feel like I won't neglect the care due to feeling embarrassed about showing a well-used ring.

Fortunately, there were no major scratches, so the after-care only took about an hour. I was a little worried that I might have to leave the ring for several days, so I was happy to get it back right away.

The cared-for ring regained its luster and sparkled. I imagined Jiji looking happy, like "I'm beautiful again!", and it warmed my heart.

Eating "strawberry full of memories" in front of the urn

Jiji was a cat who loved strawberries. Strawberries were a special fruit for us. That's because a few days before she passed away, my husband bought some, and we shared them, the three of us, together.

She couldn't eat much because of the fluid in her chest that made breathing difficult, but still, Jiji savored the strawberries, gently licking my palm. Remembering that sight made it hard for me to even look at strawberries in the supermarket for a while.

Even on her first anniversary, tears nearly welled up when I picked up strawberries. But I encouraged myself, thinking, "It's her first anniversary, after all."

I had planned to eat the strawberries with my husband at dinner, reminiscing about Jiji. However, my husband wasn't feeling well that day... He was too sick to talk about Jiji, so I changed my mind and ate the strawberries alone, in front of Jiji's urn.

It wasn't how I had planned to spend the time, but eating strawberries quietly with Jiji while talking to her urn wasn't bad at all.

While on the anniversary of a beloved pet's passing, it's natural to want to share memories with family, I also felt that having a quiet, one-on-one moment with your pet is a wonderful thing.

The sweet and sour strawberries that Jiji loved so much. I hope they reached her in heaven.

A tearful letter to my departed beloved cat

One more thing I absolutely wanted to do for Jiji's first anniversary was to write her a letter. It's hard to express the feelings I have for my beloved departed cat. Even when sharing memories with family, if the intensity of grief differs, I hesitate to open up completely about my innermost thoughts.

However, those unexpressed feelings are precisely what's important. Even if it's difficult to share with others, they can't be dismissed or ignored.

I wondered how I truly perceived my cat's death and what feelings I held. Wanting to be honest with myself, I wrote a letter addressed to Jiji in heaven.

As I wrote, my feelings for Jiji overflowed, and tears wouldn't stop. But as I continued writing, my heart felt a little lighter. I realized that being honest with my true feelings is important for protecting my own heart. 

I placed the letter I wrote on Jiji's altar. I plan to write one such heartfelt letter every year from now on. Someday, when I look back at them, I want to be able to smile gently and say, "There was a time I felt like this."

Honestly, the wound from losing Jiji doesn't seem to be healing yet. But I feel that my acceptance of the painful reality of Jiji's death has changed little by little.

At first, all I could think was "I wish she had lived longer" and "I wanted to be with her forever." I couldn't bear the absence of someone I loved so dearly, and I couldn't forgive my own powerlessness for not being able to save her.

 But then, it suddenly occurred to me. Wouldn't it be cruel to tell Jiji, who overcame surgery and fought so hard to live even with fluid in her chest, "I wish you had lived longer"?

She used up all her life force and went to heaven. Because Jiji's passing felt that way, I wanted to convey "Thank you for trying your best until the end" rather than "I wish you had lived longer."

Because if I died after trying my best to live, and my family said "I wish you had lived longer," I would probably want to say, "But I did my best!" (laughs). I've come to want to accept Jiji's efforts and say "Thank you for living out your life" rather than clinging to the unfulfilled "more."

Meeting Jiji's reincarnation by chance on her first anniversary—such a storybook development didn't happen. But if I keep hoping, I'm sure I'll see her again someday. With that hope as my emotional support, I want to continue living alongside Jiji, who is now ashes.

See all articles by this author＞＞

Related Articles

The night I lost my deceased cat's ashes ring – desperately searching, I realized what "my support for living" was.

A keepsake of a deceased beloved cat can be a great emotional support for the grieving owner. Early in the New Year, I lost my cat's ashes ring and panicked! I was reminded of the "weight of a keepsake"...