Children who drastically changed after their parents' divorce—Until I, a cat lover, was accepted as "family" by my beloved cat

Just like with human families, simply living together doesn't always make cats "family." Could it be that this cat still doesn't trust me? In the process of becoming family, there are days when you might think this way, and perhaps that's why when your hearts finally connect with your beloved cat, humans feel an unparalleled joy.

I've welcomed three beloved cats, and each has recognized me as family in their own unique way.

After My Divorce, the Distance with Jiji the Tortoiseshell Cat Finally Shrank

Among my beloved cats, Jiji the tortoiseshell cat took the longest to truly accept me as family. Jiji, who passed away in May 2025, was the first cat I ever welcomed into my home on my own.

From the moment she arrived, Jiji was the type who preferred to be alone. Many kittens cry when their owner isn't in sight, but Jiji was perfectly fine being left alone.

In fact, every time I approached, she would subtly move away. The days of her keeping her distance were a little lonely, but I'd tell myself, "Sometimes she just feels that way."

Her somewhat aloof demeanor continued for many years, and eventually, I came to think of Jiji as a "cool-tempered cat." Since she seemed to prefer being alone, there were times when I tried not to bother her too much.

My relationship with Jiji changed after my divorce. When I was married, Jiji seemed more attached to my husband, but after the divorce, she started coming to my side more often.

At first, I thought, "Maybe she's lonely because my husband, whom she loved, is gone." But seeing her doze on my lap and deliberately come to sleep beside me, I started to think, "Maybe she's finally letting her guard down..."

Once our emotional distance closed, our bond deepened quickly. After that, she started asking to be picked up, purring loudly when I hugged her, and showing me many affectionate behaviors I had never seen before.

Cats, once they recognize a human as family, can show a completely different side of themselves—I believe Jiji taught me that lesson.

Kotaro the Tabby, Who Trusted Me from the Start

The next cat I welcomed was Kotaro, a tabby. Perhaps because I brought him home when he was about a month and a half old, Kotaro was quite open with me from the beginning. Maybe you can build a parent-child relationship with a cat you've lived with since they were little.

What's amazing about Kotaro is that he is absolutely gentle only with me. He never bites my hands, no matter what.

Once, I tested him out of curiosity, wondering "Can he tell the difference between a pen and a finger...?" and was amazed by Kotaro's intelligence and gentleness. However, for some reason, he still hasn't recognized my feet as part of me, and he'll sometimes give them a good bite... (laughs)

ペンと指の区別がつく、うちの子賢い。 pic.twitter.com/TpIwEXK2w7

— ゆあ ｜ ライター🖊 (@yunc24291) September 30, 2019

If I calmly put myself in his shoes, being taken to an unfamiliar house by a different species that suddenly appeared shortly after birth and being raised by them—it would be nothing but terrifying. That's why I think Kotaro's strength and gentleness, in becoming family so easily without any initial intimidation, are truly amazing.

"No matter what happens, I will be family with this person." Perhaps Kotaro lives his days with me holding such a resolve in his heart. When I think about it that way, I want to re-evaluate how I interact with my beloved cat, telling myself, "I shouldn't get angry over minor mischief."

By the way, Kotaro is currently in the process of recognizing my current husband, who joined our family four years ago, as family. When my husband and I are relaxing together, Kotaro always circles around from my side and sits between us.

Even these small actions make me happy, as they show he recognizes me as family, and I find Kotaro's efforts to accept my husband as family endearing.

Leon, the Youngest, Opened His Heart After Illness

It's only been in the past few years that Leon, the youngest, has accepted me as family. Leon came from a rescue cat cafe. The cafe owner described him as "friendly," but when I first brought him home, he didn't approach me at all.

I thought, "He's probably nervous in an unfamiliar environment," but we spent several years together with a certain emotional distance between us.

Some cats from rescue cafes show their true personalities in their new homes, appearing different from how they were at the cafe. I thought, "Leon might be that type," and decided, "If that's the case, that's fine. Just be comfortable," respecting Leon's freedom.

Leon's attitude changed after he suffered from a disease called "plasma cell pododermatitis." This disease is characterized by swollen paw pads. Since it's an immune system disorder, it can sometimes heal naturally, but in Leon's case, a tumor called a plasmacytoma formed and was surgically removed.

After his illness, Leon, for some reason, started approaching me more often, and he even got on my lap for the first time. Even though I had learned from living with Jiji that "cats show many different faces," I realized I had once again mistakenly judged my beloved cat's personality, thinking, "He seems to like being alone, so I'll leave him be."

Leon took an instant liking to my current husband, rubbing and snuggling with him from the very first day he moved in. I, who took years to finally be accepted as family, now spend my days filled with jealousy.

Cats are naturally cautious animals. Precisely because they don't easily approach and aren't subservient creatures, their act of "going to their owner's side" seems to conceal the feeling of "I recognize you as family."

To avoid betraying that trust from my beloved cats, I want to continue being a cat-first servant.

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