The day I thought, "A cat is a bond," I was able to accept a life without children.

"Children are the bond that keeps a marriage together." Whenever I heard that phrase, I, who cannot bear children, would feel a sense of loneliness.

Without a child of our own, is our bond as a couple fragile because we lack that "bond"? When I felt lost in that uncertainty, it was the presence of my beloved cats that saved me and made me realize that "we, too, have a deep bond as a couple."

Welcoming cats into a life without children

I have a congenital heart condition. Before I turned 18, my doctor told me, "You shouldn't get pregnant or give birth," so I inevitably walked a path in life without children.

When you are told by others that you cannot get pregnant or give birth before you’ve even had a chance to think about whether you want children, you lose sight of your own true feelings. Even now, I don't know if I ever really wanted to have children or not.

My ex-husband was good with children. We married after I explained my condition and the fact that I couldn't have children, and he understood; however, every time I saw him playing happily with my nephew, my heart would darken. It was because the sight of a scene I could never create for him was too dazzling.

In the midst of navigating married life with that inner conflict, we welcomed Jiji, a tortoiseshell cat. Jiji didn't act like a typical cat—she had such a unique face and was a bit clumsy—and she brought so many smiles to our marriage.

Over the years we lived together, conversations between us had gradually dwindled, but after welcoming Jiji, we started showing each other photos, saying things like, "She made this pose today! (laughs)," and our conversations increased.

They say children are the bond that holds a couple together, but perhaps cats can serve as that bond, too... Thinking that, I felt happy to have found such a precious presence that I could truly call a "bond."

My beloved cat, once a "bond," became my reason to live

However, the role my beloved cats played went beyond just being a "bond." After welcoming Jiji, I also brought in Kotaro, a tabby, and Leon, a ginger cat; after becoming a large family, I eventually divorced my ex-husband.

Living alone in a room filled with memories of my ex-husband. Honestly, my mental health suffered quite a bit, and a sense of loneliness washed over me.

I’ve tried hard enough, and whatever happens, happens—there were days I thought that way. But the reason I managed to keep living was because I had my beloved cats, who would answer if I spoke to them.

Feeling the warmth of these cats, who would talk to me even if I didn't initiate it, or simply cuddle up by my side, I was able to pull myself back together, thinking, "I can't leave these little ones behind."

When the marital bond broke and they finished their role as a "bond," my cats became like "children I had to protect," and I learned for the first time that they could become a reason for their owner to live.

It’s no exaggeration to say there were many days I only survived because they were there.

The role of a beloved cat goes beyond just being a "bond"

A few years after the divorce, I started living with my current husband. He is the type who chose a life without children of his own volition. Because of that, I stopped self-deprecating, thinking, "It's my fault I can't have children," and was able to lead a life where I could breathe easier.

Once life with my husband began, our cats became like a "bond" once again. My husband doesn't usually take photos on his own. Yet, since we started living together, he has frequently begun taking photos of the cats.

Every time he sends me photos with captions like, "Their poses were synchronized, it was funny," or "They had such an indescribable expression (laughs)," I feel warmed, and at the same time, I’m amazed by the power of cats to change even the behavioral patterns of a grown adult.

Among our cats, the one who likes my husband the most is Leon, the ginger cat. When my husband is feeling down, Leon comes to his side and sits still.

Initially, when we started living together, my husband would pet Leon and say, "Thanks for worrying about me," but after a while, he was surprised by his own emotional shift, remarking, "I never knew cats could be so healing or helpful..."

There are days when feeling the warmth of your beloved cat is more healing than any words of comfort could ever be. I’ve come to feel that cats don’t just serve as a "bond" that deepens a marriage, but they also heal weakened hearts and gently bridge the gaps that words cannot fill.

Finally accepting a life without children

Jiji, who passed away last year, taught me the essence of what a family is with her own life. Because the environment I grew up in wasn't very good, I had a habit of feeling a certain distrust even toward the family I had built with my own hands.

This person will probably betray me eventually, too. I shouldn't open my heart, and I mustn't show any weakness—I lived my life with my shoulders tensed up, thinking things like that.

However, seeing my husband buy strawberries that Jiji loved during her battle with illness, and watching him cry his eyes out when she passed away—even though we only lived together for three years—I was able to naturally accept, "Oh, so this is what a family is."

Jiji didn't just become the bond for our marriage; she taught me what "family" meant with her whole being. To me, she is a benefactor, and someone I could call my senior in life.

Dozing off between us or engaging in a battle over canned chicken with my husband, our beloved cats remain precious bonds for us as a couple. I feel I can now say with pride that even in a life without children, I am a happy person to have met such happiness.

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